I'm WAAAAAAAIIIIIIIITING.....

Is there any Tecmo going on?

Update?

Come on people, tell us what's going on! I haven't had any vicarious Tecmo action for weeks!

Tecmo Memoirs: Season Two (TSB2K)

After an amazing Super Bowl I in which the Cincinnati Bengals clipped the Philadelphia Eagles 7-6 in the greatest game ever played, founders Matt O'Toole and Nick Ciofani decided to go dorm-wide with their obsession. Chas Claus and Tim Daggett agreed to become the first hosts of TSB and the gray box took over room 301. Seventeen players signed up to play and the draft order was done completely randomly. The Bills, Oilers, Chiefs, Eagles, Bears, and 49ers were banned from human use. The first terrible pick was the first draft choice ever, as Jim Higginbottom (who, to his defense, had little idea who to pick) took the Redskins over other more suitable teams such as the Raiders and Giants. Jamie Peters pounced on the Giants with the next pick, I took my Bengals again, and Aaron Turner landed the Raiders. A few weeks into the season the commissioners decided to allow Todd Weaver to join, but we forced him to take the Patriots.

The beginning of the season saw plenty of fireworks and Tecmo ettiquete was quickly learned by those involved. I had to assure Mike Shuster that the 60-0 spanking I delivered in Week One was nothing personal and that it wasn't just about winning, it was about the stats. Shuster must have learned something as he eventually pulled a nice upset of Turner's Raiders and earned a wild card. But Shuster didn't have to worry about holding the record for worst human beat-down. Later in the season I got about every break imaginable and whipped Dallas' Cowboys (Dallas the guy) 70-0 (it was 32-0 after the first quarter). That record stood until the season where Metzger had the Chiefs and rolled some frosh up 77-0. Also, as a side note, Tim Daggett holds the record for biggest computer squash match as he put up at least 90 one game with the Seahawks.

The end of the season produced a hilarious moment. It was everyone's hope that the playoffs would consist of solely human players. The 49ers were not cooperating. Going into week 17 they held a one game lead on Sam Nicholson's Falcons for the final playoff spot. Sam won his game and he needed to rely on the computer Bears to score a victory over the computer 49ers. So what did we do? We put both teams on COM and watched the game. That's right, we watched the Bears defeat the 49ers and clinch an all-human playoff. It was a wonderful experience.

The founders looked as if they would meet in the Super Bowl again as they both finished the season with perfect 16-0 records. I have vivid memories of these playoffs as they were the first and I watched every game but one (we didn't play them all in one night). Dan Simpson led the 'phins to a victory over Shuster's Broncos and Dallas had some Michael Irvin ugliness to get him past Chas' Saints (Chas and John Fourcade had a season-long love affair that did not end pretty). Turner easily stomped Shane Gibson's Colts and Daggett made sure that the back-door Falcons would not advance. In the divisional round Weiland's Jets won the third meeting with the Dolphins (I think Simpson had won the previous two meetings). Dallas was no match for the Beast and his Giants. Turner rode two fumbles to a 17-10 victory over the Chosen One (I never heard the end of that fricking game) and Daggett stopped Ciofani's Vikings in a defensive struggle 7-2. That set up two exciting Championships. I thought Turner would be unstoppable after taking me out, but Weiland played a great game and advanced to the Super Bowl. In the NFC the Giants were destined to win. Trailing by 7 in the fourth, Matt Bahr came out to attempt a field goal. The kick was blocked, but Bahr picked up the ball and rumbled thirty yards for a touchdown. In OT, the Rams won the toss and FUMBLED the kickoff! The Giants recovered and punched it in the endzone setting up the all-New York Super Bowl.

The Super Bowl was another good game. Down 6-3 in the fourth Weiland turned the ball over on downs and Beast was able to score a meaningless touchdown on the last play of the game. 13-3 Giants.

The season was a big success and Tecmo was on its way. Peters would take the Pats to the playoffs the following year and make the Hall of Fame. John Tice was revealed as a sweet kick/punt returner, and we decided that the Giants and Raiders would be banned the following season (switching with the Eagles and Chiefs). It was the season where Tecmo really took flight.

Tecmo Memoirs: Season Three (TSB2K+1)

TSB2K, the moniker for the second season, was a huge success. The commissioners were able to crank out a season of 18 players in about half a semester and most of the people involved had a blast. The growing monster that was Tecmo attracted six new faces for the third season, leaving four teams to be banned. Those teams ended up being the Bills, Giants, Raiders, and 49ers. In season two, the Raiders and Giants were not banned as their divisional counterparts the Chiefs and Eagles were off the market. This season the Bears, Oilers, Chiefs, and Eagles were all in play. To deal with expansion the system that is currently used was implemented.

Early in the season a matchup between "Hard" Corey Rice and Matt Weiland (Chiefs vs. Saints) led to the creation of a demandment. Heading into overtime, HC pushed a button and was given the ball (no coin toss). Weiland sat their befuddled and raised objections, but what could I do? Even when the button is pushed it's still a coin flip. Hard Corey marched down the field and won the game. The punt rule was immediately adopted. In fact, I believe that this was the season which the Demandments were handed down from the Tecmo gods.

Season three was played at a blistering pace (finished in the same semester as season two) and saw the rookie seasons of some big Tecmo names. Jason Boddu (Vikings) and John Schweitzer (Browns) took their share of lumps, but they would improve and meet in the Super Bowl in the following season. John Metzger's Falcons, like his every-other-season teams, received many a beat-down. But the biggest impact by a rookie was delivered by one-season-wonder Brian Allen (Chargers). Allen would pilot the Chargers to near Tecmo glory and then vanish into oblivion.

The playoffs were played with little fanfare as most of it took place during finals week. The Super Bowl was played with just one spectator.

Jamie Peters locked up his status as a Hall of Famer by earning a Wild-Card berth with the Patriots (he was the winner of Super Bowl II). The Beast was quickly dispatched in the playoffs, however, by the now villainous "Hard" Corey. That win put Corey, who had a great playoff draw, in a position to play for the AFC Championship. Nick Ciofani put a stop to that when, in overtime (fittingly), Corey bit on the play-action and Jeff George hit Bill Brooks for a sixty-yard TD. Incensed, HC stormed down the hall to 407 where he promptly punted his trash can (to the sheer delight of all spectators).

Ciofani met up with Brian Allen in the AFC title game and it was another classic. Don't ever take your PAT's for granted, because one of those made all the difference. Leslie O.Neal steamed through the Colts O-line and was able to block a kick and the final score was 14-13. Allen moved on to the Super Bowl where he would face the ultra greedy Tim McDonald (17 picks that year). McDonald's penchant for interceptions (and Mickey D's commercials) inspired the dreaded catch-phrase "Did somebody say McDonald?" and Univision's coverage of the World Cup spawned it's little brother "Alguien dijo McDonald?" The Cards made the Super Bowl after going 15-1 (a double-skip loss) and then easily taking down Brandon Thornton's Lions (who had a nice upset of Weiland's Saints) and Steve Kirschner's Eagles (came out of the Wild Card round).

I thought I was going to steamroll in this game, especially after taking a 14-0 lead into half-time. Allen kept his cool, though, and started to get some turnovers to balance things out. I swear there were at least eight total turnovers in this game. Gill Byrd and Tim McDonald were having their respective ways with the laughable passing skills of Tom Tupa (who got the start over Rosenbach...oddly enough, I started Dilweg over Majkowski in Super Bowl V) and B.J. Tolliver. Allen used Butts to tie the score at 14 and, on the last play of the game, sacked Tupa and caused a fumble. Luckily for the Chosen One the defensive player that recovered the ball was slower than Leon Lett. The player was tackled outside the ten yard line and it was time for OT. The Cards won the toss and from there it was a steady diet of Johnny Johnson. J.J. was able to grind out a few first downs but was finally stopped on the Chargers' 45 yd. line. With visions of Leslie O.Neal dancing in my head I nervously sent Al Del Greco out for the game-winner. O.Neal got the split-screen, but the ball wobbled past and split the uprights. 17-14 Cardinals. I shook Allen's hand and breathed a sigh of relief. The win did not come easily and it would have been crushing to lose after waltzing through the season. Had I lost the toss in overtime things may have been a lot different.

I was very pleased with the way the season went and had the whole summer to drool over the possibilities of Tecmo in years to come. It was my last season in the dorm and the only season which I hosted. I loved hosting and wished I could have done it more often, but I'm sure my roommate would not have shared my sentiments.

More memoirs to come in the future...

From Mr. O'Toole and Myself

Toolie said...

Just to clarify... Both the Bills and 49ers have been lead to the championship before Mr. Schlegel. John Schweitzer won it all with the 49ers in Super Bowl IV (over Jason Boddu's Oilers) and Boddu took the Bills to the title in Super Bowl VI (defeating Talcott's Redskins). However, both those guys developed into solid Tecmo players (indeed, HOFers).

Punks like Metzger who didn't have a drop of skill in their bodies would ride the tides of good team - bad team but always fold in the high pressure games. Basically if he ran into one of the several studs in the playoffs (me, Ciofani, Raider, Boddu, Schweitzer, Sam, Brink, etc.) he was a goner.

The worst part about Metz is that in the seasons where he had a bad team he'd get skipped about 4-5 times over the course of the season. I had always wanted to implement a rule that if you got skipped X times then you could draft no higher than the expansion round for the next season. Is this a problem for you guys?





It's all Wayne from here . . .
Before anyone gets the wrong idea, I believe the reason all these guys were getting the good teams was because there were about 8 people playing at that point. Not because they were cruddy players who couldn't hack it with a 28th pick.

Will, get this man posting privileges. Also, I think he's got a great point about the skips. I don't think that should be applied to this last season, but I feel that a policy concerning skips would be awesome. My suggested policy is as follows:

If you are skipped more than 3 times, then you draft right before the expansion round.

If you are skipped more than 5 times, then you draft right before the screw job round.

If you are skipped more than 8 times (almost half the season!) you are done. No more Tecmo. You are a hassle that we'd rather not deal with. Get off our lawn, goodbye.

These terms are generous enough that I'd say that they should be almost without exception. If someone misses three times because they felt like doing other things, and the fourth time is because is mom died, well tough luck. If exceptions are going to be made, then I feel that fewer skips should be allowed.

Everyone who reads this please comment on it. We need to get a feel for where people are at on this so we can get something in place for next semester.

Thank God I'm an Econ major . . .

Apparently it's a really hard thing to do, because for some reason the average (or perhaps below average) person has problems thinking things out to more than one, perhaps two, steps ahead. Please take the time to read a previous post from Schlegel:

Tell me please...

Why is it that I have won the Super Bowl with two teams that have never won it before?
Posted by Schlegel

Now, let us take more than 3 seconds (though a full 3 seconds is not actually required for this "Herculean" task) to think about that statement.

For all I know, the Gay Bagel is correct, no other person has won the superbowl with the 49ers or the Bills. Now, at this point is where my rigorous training in statistics and economics comes is. I think to myself "WHAT KIND OF PERSON GETS BOTH THE 49ERS AND THE BILLS???"

Well, let's think about that. SanFran is a highly desired team -->People will pick them over most other teams without hesitation-->Those with the highest pick will get SanFran-->To get the highest pick, one must have the worst record-->To get the worst record . . . ONE MUST SUCK A LOT OF ASS.

Repeat exercise with the Bills.

So, to answer the question posed by the Gay Bagel, it is because you suck a lot of ass.

Since you asked...

...I'm going with a failure on the part of those who came before you *cough D, cough Smiley.*

Super Bowl

Hmm....might there be a reason TJ hasn't posted the Super Bowl's outcome? :-)

Three cheers for Schlegel, dirtiness, and most of all THE BILLS.

Play-off Predictions

NFC Wild Card game one: Lions vs. Eagles--Sanders takes on QB Eagles, but the fact that QB Eagles can both run and legally throw the ball (besides the fact that his recevers can actually catch) carry the day for Travis.

NFC Wild Card game two: Chi-town vs. the Rams. The poor man's San Fran team can't crack the Bear's killer D, and a loss fumble deep in the Ram's own territory allows Nathan a chance to score. Bears move on to face the real San Francisco.

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AFC Wild Card game one: Miami vs. Houston. Roomies show down-Alpha vs. Beta. Unlike last year, the computer will not be playing as Miami, Duper will not begin to run as if Hermes himself were possessing his body, and Houston will win (No, i'm not bitter about losing out on my last chance to win the SuperBowl).

AFC Wild Card game two: Bengals vs. Colts. Sorry Wayne, you might be able to pull it out again, but living off campus for too long has taken its toll (plus Garrett's been secertly selling his body to the tecmo gods in exchange for their good graces). Garrett wins by a ten points.

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Quarter finals

Philly vs. Redskins. A good game, but underdog Philidelphia watches as QB Eagles pops into excellent, while Monk and Sanders both wind up on the sidelines after being injured in the first and fourth offensive plays for the Skins. TJ still holds on masterfully, pushing the game into OT where a botched kickoff winds up allowing QB Eagles to pick up the ball and return it for the game winning touchdown.

49ers vs. Bears. While the offense of the Rams was managable, San Francisco is simply too much for Winslow to handle. Still, it's not a clear game until the third quarter, when Winslow foolishly calls a run play on the Niner's offense, allowing an oh-so-easy 80 yard pass to Rice. From there on out, the Bears are out.

Houston vs. Bills. Two offensive powerhouses, but Collin's mind game gets the best of Schlegs. (Besides, I should have made it to the SuperBowl with the Oilers--ain't no way theBills are going to get in the way.)

Chargers vs. Bengals. If the Bills-Oilers game's about the pass, this one's all about the effective run game. in the end, Boomer and Icky just edge the Chargers out, but not before Garret has to kiss Israel's Butts for some amazing running gains/touchdowns.

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Semi-Finals

Philly vs. S.F.-Philly wins. Provided QB Eagles stays in excellent, avoids injury, and does not fumble the ball, the Eagles will win another close game. In the end, the QB Eagles offense is able to match S.F. point for point, and Barry White and some lucky play calling on Travis's part slows S.F. up just enough so that time runs out as Lindy fumbles with his controller, trying to call a time out or the would-be game-winning field goal.

Oilers vs. Bengals. Did I mention that the Oilers should have made the Superbowl last year?

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Superbowl Predictions

QB Eagles squares off against a stellar Houston offense--the same lineup of the Fall/Winter Superbowl when Victor lost to Brinkman. It proves to be a close game, and there are no clear winners going into the Mighty Mighty BombJacks half-time show. Nor does a winner emerge after the second half. First over time comes and passes, but the game remains tied at 17-17. Second overtime. Third OT...and it begins to feel like the Vietnam conflict--dragging on and on. As the fourth OT begins, however, the Oilers recieve the ball and make a huge push. Remincent of the Tet offensive, however, this drive ends in a whimper as Colin gets greedy, goes four and out on deep in eagles territory (rather than taking an easy field goal), and the Eagles rally back. The Oiler's defense cannot keep up for some reason (insufficent libations to the gods?), and the QB Eagles eaks out the win by rushing into the inzone with five seconds left on the clock. (Thought I wanted Houston to win, huh? Eh, it was a toss up. I should have won with the Eagles too).